BREAKING NEWS: Starbucks to Permanently Close USA Stores
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Starbucks CEO announced today, in the middle of the Coronavirus pandemic, that all US stores will permanently close prior to Easter. Staying in line with true Starbucks culture, he said, "java sales have dropped since this death of America as we knew it and we certainly aren't about to compete with this death and resurrection of Jesus." As a result, all US stores will close on Good Friday.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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