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Stafford, 30th February 2017. Article by Ivor Biggun.

News erupted today that local DJ Gavin Edensor has been faking batting for the other team - purely to capture the g*y audience!

Shocked fan Colin stated "F**king liberties mate...I'm here dropping anchor in poo bay while this straight as a ruler b*tch is leading me on thinking I have a chance with his succulent a*s"

When interviewed Edensor, 36 from Stafford, stated "Oh come on, it's not like anyone gives a f*ck. They like my music - who cares if I don't gobble c*ck in my spare time!? I love p*ssy too much. Give me that fishy taste any day!"

Sales of his latest compilation "Gav's Cumpilation" skyrocketed as Christian closet homos felt they can now buy his g*y album as he's not really g*y so they'll be allowed into heaven.

One closet homo, Simon - from Wildwood, Stafford - stated "I don't want my church to know I'm g*y as I've spent so long hiding it. I'm so glad I can push back now."

Gav's Cumpliation 69 is available to buy on double CD from Our Price, priced at £17.69.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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