Man caught attempting illegal Serbian Circumcision near Chesapeake Bay Area

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Joseph "Joko" Kowal was found under a boat launch with a Serbian man and 3 large huskies, along with 2 scalpels, chloroform, and some other materials. It is believed that the operation was intended to partake in a makeshift circumcision. After further interrogation, it was discovered that Mr. Kowal is uncircumcised, leading to further reasoning to confirm the suspicion of the operation. In addition to this, the huskies were most likely going to be used to gnaw off Kowal's foreskin in order to begin the circumcision, while the scalpel would do the fine tuning and finish off the medical action. Kowal is not in police custody, however there is currently a warrant out for his arrest. All the information we have at this time is that he is potentially located in Hempfield school district, in Lancaster, PA. Any information assisting in, or leading to, the arrest of Kowal could come with a reward of up to $5,000.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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