Local couple travels 3 hours one way to be afraid of a fucking slide at the State Fair.
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Windom, MN
A local middle-age couple traveled 3+ hours to go to the Minnesota State Fair today. Neither had ever been there before. (They asked not to to share their full identity in this News article so only first names are used.)
Brian proclaimed that the experience taught him quite a bit about cleavage. "I never knew boobs could hang out in so many different ways. Most Windom women don't have boobs like I saw today." He was also shocked that so many people could fit their fat asses into such tight quarters. "It was amazing how many people touched their butts with other butts. I honestly thought it looked like some kind of mating ritual." Brian declared.
Natasha's experiences were similar to Brian's. "So many people touched my butt, I couldn't help but think we were all supposed to do the "Bump". (Natasha was referring to a Disco dance craze of the 70's.) After following suit with what she thought was a communal version of "The Bump", she was brought back to reality when she tried the Bump with a dairy cow in one of the barns. Security promptly escorted her out with a stern warning.
The scariest part of both their experiences was the Giant Slide. "I've never seen such a scary thing!" Brian said. "It had to have been 30 feet tall!" Natasha was astounded that small children and elderly people were going all the way to the top without oxygen masks.. "Oh My God!" How could they breathe that high in the sky?!" As they watched in amazement as people ascend to the top of the slide, a 90 year old woman hip-checked them to attain a better position in the line for the Giant Slide. Brian quickly moved out of the way and declared "Ain't NO way I'm man enough to be in line for this death trap!"
Their day ended without trying Taffy, ANYTHING deep-fried, a single Cookie or glass of all you can drink milk. "Maybe next year." Brian cautiously stated.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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