QC Summer Festival 2019 Shooting. Man In a Tchoupi Costume Shot 34 People At The Concert.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 7891 Shares
07/09/19, a shooting occured at the annual Summer Festival in Quebec City this Tuesday at 8:56 PM.
The man was allegedly dressed in a Tchoupi costume claiming to be the fest's original mascot. Security let him in, unaware of the hidden gun inside his pockets. The real actor was said to have been kidnapped and stabbed to death in the man's house, this claim was debunked soon after he was found in his appartment filming a porno with his biological sister and was put in jail after cops found 3 pounds of illegaly obtained cocaine in his dresser. The shooter walked on stage and started shooting up the place, including the security guards. Police was called a minute and 34 seconds after the shooting began, and as they reached the lot where the event took place, their view got disturbingly shocking. There, right in front of them, laid the body of 22 people, including the shooter who right as they arrived shot himself in the balls. 12 others were badly injured and immediatley sent to the hospital where some of them tragically passed away. Right before police got to the scene, the man in the costume allegedly started yelling "PIPI, CACA, ZIZI, HIHIHIHI!!" to a random passer who filmed for proof, which translates to "Pee, poo, penis, hehehe!!" and THEN, shot himself. This is what they said: "Dude, i was just waiting for my unicorn, oh there it is-JOHN COME BACK!!" At this point, the man was in tears. "I'M NOT CHEATING ON YOU I-I SWEAR!!! WELL FUCK YOU TOO THEN!! Anyways so like he was like...Shooting people and stuff and it was weird because like why dude like yolo right? Don't do that." The police started questionning him. "What? No, i'm not on drugs, dude-HEY, DON'T TOUCH ME, MY DAD IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, HEY, STOP!!!" The passer was also arrested for alleged drug use, more precisely shrooms. The famous pop singer Ariana Grande was also a witness to this murder scene, since it happened just as she ended her "God is a woman" new top hit single performance, here is what she had to say: "So, i was just about to leave, and then i heard gunshots and screams and when i turned around i saw people literally dying!! When i stress, i ALWAYS eat my protein chocolate bars to get better and skinnier, so i saw brown stuff on the floor and started licking it. Turns out, one of the victims got so scared they shat on the floor and died. Good snack, but still traumatizing." After further investigation, the man was identified as Ian Cocksmacker by his husband Guillaume Cocksmacker.
This is the tragic case of the Quebec Summer Festival shooting. Stay tuned for more.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
trudeau approves new canadian flag design Rumor has it Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau, working closely with The Honourable Pablo Rodriguezo, Canadian Heritage minister and Quebec Lieutenant, have finalized the new flag design. Trudeau stated "We are very excited to unveil this updated design which better reflects the direction we are moving the country to" Once approved, unveiling is to take place this year on Canada day.